Just a Thought Cloud

Sometimes, it is all a matter of mindset.

Sometimes, I can’t decide whether to buy something I have really liked for so long just because I think I am spending way too much.

Sometimes, I think too much and I forget what really needs to be done.

Sometimes, I see myself in the eyes of others.

Sometimes, I know I don’t need something but I still want it.

Sometimes, it is all a matter of mindset.

Ever since I knew what I was going to be, I always thought about the “what could be’s” in my life right now. I could be possibly writing for my dream magazine or I could be enjoying my Fridays out with my best buddies, getting wasted and meeting girls. I could be living the working class life: giving my parents the share of my salary, looking and sounding like a big shot in front of others, spending more than what I can or living off the side of a mountain. I could possibly have a girlfriend to have a go-meet with her socialera friends in their up-town gigs and perky talks about the latest craze in their Barbie world.

It is fun thinking about these things. These are some things that get me by in my jeepney rides to work or my afternoon stroll outside the compound. Yes, they may seem painful and of course, why wouldn’t it be painful? This smells and spells REGRET all over, upside down or inside out. It stings some times.

But the reality, not the sad part is that it is just a thought cloud in my made-up comic world. It is a figment, gone in *poof* but is relive-able in probably one of the most entertaining ways. And the fun part starts with this short thought cloud. It is probably a slow day today, for me, for the office, for other people as well. And this prods thinking. I could probably get those things I mentioned earlier. Or I could just live with what I have.

I could probably enjoy booze on weekends but that wouldn’t be good for me. I still have to think about work on Monday. I could wish for better, bigger pay for a lesser or an equal load but that wouldn’t be right. Sometimes I think it is all a matter of mindset. Back then, I wished to graduate, then I did. When I graduated, I wish I had a job, then I did get one. When I landed the job, I wished I had the pay of yuppie puppy clad in designer brands and on the latest 4s. Then I figured, I wouldn’t be happier with that.

I have a decent work. I get paid honestly. I have good friends and I enjoy the good company. I have a loving family and they are healthy. I should be content with what I have, not wish for more that I could possibly live my life without. Magnum (the ice cream, not the condoms okay?) sounds good but I can enjoy dirty ice cream equally on a sizzling Philippine afternoon. It is probably safe to say that we tend to live our lives right now based on what we want to have, we are pushed to go distances because we want a new car, a new dress, a new cabinet of shoes or whatever. We have the things that we need, though improvement is not bad, opportunity will present itself sooner or later. But for now, we just have to be more content and more patient.

Tom Shadyac described this human mindset, compared it to a cancer that eats up its host and dies after. The cancer as a parasite takes more than it needs and kills its host eventually killing itself shortly after. This shouldn’t be the case with us.

Sometimes it is all a matter of mindset. And what you read is just a thought cloud. *poof*

BTW, this blog liiiiives. Resurrected from its internet grave.