yea, right

Reflecting on my writing life and process. This is some narcissistic shit, or maybe just an introspection.

I have been pondering on the thought of how did I ever develop this sorta knack for writing. I didn't enjoy it when I was a kid. For all I know, I could have been an architect or a designer due to my earlier influences. I know for a fact that as a kid, I'd been keen on spelling and real bad at math so maybe, just maybe, those are the forces that got my compass to point to the direction of the scribe.

Whatever little left from the things that I still remember from college is that if you're already a 'good writer,' don't take up anything close to writing as a major. Still, that rings a bell whenever I remember it but I can't fully close my mind to the idea. I'm sort of 50-50 on that argument. Yes, I believe that you can't learn style from school, and if you do, you may have a 'template style' that goes along with the diploma that you receive after school.

It's kinda like saying that your degree is useless. Somehow, I feel that too. But not all too much. I learned that there are different ways of writing and different ways to express and cater to the subject matter. That, I think is something you can't learn just by being a 'good writer'or something. I'm not saying that those who didn't have prior and formal writing classes are dupes when it comes to writing. Matter of fact, the more popular and brilliant writers of the world come not from the academe of letters. They are but mere individuals stirred by the desire to express and [unknowingly, sic] impress the world with whatever idea or character or scenario they have or had. Yea, I'm thrown on both sides of the argument. Can't wrap my head over that shit.

Another thing that I've been giving much thought to, lately, is the fact that I really hate doing rewrites or editing of my work. It makes me feel like a cheat. That doesn't mean that I don't check my writing for typos but the whole prospect of re-reading my work and then editing it for better content, context, form and structure is somewhat sketchy to me. I feel like when I write, it should be final and down to the point. Let the regret come later if angry readers swarm in on my comments box. I highly doubt that. That's a bit of history and secret laziness right there. I don't edit my work. I'd like to edit other people's work, in good faith, don't you worry.

Self-editing feels like shortchanging yourself and your readers. Of course, there are times that things are so fucked up in your head that the need to expose them to the world is dampened by the fear of being loathed, trolled and flamed across varying media. Don't go there, they will eat you alive if you are a sick bigoted fuck.

Maybe, that's another reason why I like the name "Guderian"that much. He was a straightforward man. Straight as an arrow.

Edge for life, sonn.

P.S. I forgot something, some people I personally know hate the fact that I sort of do so much filtering of my thoughts that when they come out as words, they're squeaky clean as fuck. Well, thank you. My words are soapy as ever. I'd blow bubbles to your ears so when they burst, you'll hear what I really mean.