incessant whining

Staying relevant in this world means a whole lot than doing things you like. Sometimes, it takes more than just a desire and a dream to make things happen. The mind is strong but the mind is weak, the body is strong but the mind is dull. No, really, the thing is there are many objects that distract us in the things that we do and try to do. It is hard to translate every aspiration into a workable piece of art, engineering and poetry. It really is hard to see yourself fail in almost everything you have sworn yourself not to fail at.

But, there is always a cliche in each story, like how tragedy comes with a silver lining, a rainbow after the rain and the dawn after a long and cold night. What they don't always tell you is that sometimes, you sleep the night away only to find the morning to be drenched in sad rains and shitty consequences. They fail to tell you that there are no rainbows in nuclear winter day. They forgot to mention that the tragedy does not go away. They fail to mention to your face that you fail and it is in that failure of recognition that you fail to see things as they really are.

Though, there are some people who desire to see the day that the masks are torn off and the true stories be said to those who are willing to hear. It may not always be a beautiful story, but it still worthy to be told without the wrapper of candy coated adjectives and recanting statements. As gritty as it is, as rough on the edges it may seem and as delusional and unacceptable the truth may sound, you have to hear it.

I've gone into an interview lately, actually, just yesterday and before I got to the part I had to finish a questionnaire. It was supposed to assess my value and worthiness into being accepted as a new employee, a new cog into another already working machine. I dreaded the fact that I had to do it by hand, my calluses are getting a workout and a steroid fix right after. The interview came and I think the interviewer failed to tell me in my face that I was not the employee that they were looking for. It's cool, I thought. It's not the first time I faced rejection and that it was better than not being sent a notice of anything, really.

Getting back to my story, I've been listening to a lot of rap from one artist lately. He talks about things that are not entirely new but with such blunt truth that you think about it hard and for a good amount of time. The overdose, the addiction of conjuring an image without verification and the cool factor of being consumers in a world full of promos and creative branding. We can't escape it but if we try hard enough, we just might be able to shake some of the influence off. 

He tells the story of how much it hurt to be a failed icon to those recovering from drug addiction. He recalls the hardship that most often brag about but never really had he balls to face on in sobriety. The reality of social restrictions to gender preference and the stigma that only "real men" get to be successes in the world. There are just so many levels of understanding that you need to repeat the songs over and over just to get a sliver for yourself. Look up Macklemore x Ryan Lewis so you could get it. I'm not done with the pseudo-depressing shit. But I hope I am, it feels cold enough in here already, that one's almost in the literal sense.

I'm just ranting. Welcome to the Heist.