So you wanna be CEO?

Things start with a romantic idea. No, not that kind of romance – no star-crossed lovers, musicals, birds chirping and riding off into the sunset sort of things. You can’t contain your inspiration any longer. After months of deliberation, you decide to leave it all behind and stick with your guns. It feels right. It seems like the most wonderful thing ever. You pull the trigger – you start your own business. Well, at least you thought you did.

Here’s the thing: you’re not in a movie or a cancelled TV series (I’m looking at you How To Make It In America. Guys, please. You have to do another season!) where everything seems so shiny and wonderful. Starting a business on your own is a big thing. And if you’re one of those young adults who still aren’t used to adulting just yet, chances are things won’t go so well right off the bat. But what’s success without a little struggle, right?

I may be rambling but hear me out. So far, here are some things I’ve learned in 6-month long attempt in starting my own business:

Starting your own business will not be easy and it shouldn’t.

You are building your company from the ground up. You should put your back into it. Working for other people is different from working for yourself. CEOs get to sit on top of the mountain because they know how difficult the climb was. And besides, challenging times will make for great stories someday.

Stick to your guns. If your gut tells you something, go for it!

I can’t count the times that I thought to myself “I should have” and “I shouldn’t have done that.” Your instinct is there for a reason. Trust it and see what happens. It’s sure as hell better than doing nothing. Risk is and will always be an occupational hazard. Without it, how else are you going to succeed? If you want something bad enough, you need to go at it hard. Go big or go home.

Fear is both friend and foe.

It is a motivator, a teacher, a rival. Are you afraid that you won’t make it in the long run? Good, that means you’re aware of what could happen if you don’t do the things you need to do. Even when things are going great, you’d still have that sliver of fear at the back of your mind. Don’t feed your fear but do everything in the best of your ability to emerge as the victor. Let go of inhibitions, they will just drag you down.

Plan ahead.

Think things through twice, three times, four times. Focus on your goal and map out the road to your endgame. Leaving things to chance is probably not the wisest business plan out there. Once you plan things, you can keep your progress in check. Plus, you can finally put that planner of yours into good use. You did pay for it with all those Starbucks drinks you ordered last Yuletide season.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It’s good that you want to do things on your own. DIY or die, right? But there’s also nothing wrong with getting by with a little help. Seek the counsel of your wiser peers. Consult books and do your research. The more you know, the better you’ll get at the whole business thing. Discipline is remembering what you want. Don’t let your pride get the better of you because sometimes, all you have to do is ask.

I’m still learning the ropes in this whole business thing so I’ll keep this tab open. For the meantime, I’ll have my pen and paper ready for more lessons.

Today

My mother always told me to say a little prayer every morning when I wake up. She says it’s a little gesture of appreciation for the gift of life. The same goes every night.

Today, here are the things I am grateful for:

1.  I am grateful for the gift of health. 

I am feeling better than yesterday. My cough is still here but it hurts a lot less now.

2.  I am grateful for the food on my plate and the person who prepared it for me. 

Usually, a nominal ‘thank you’ would suffice but not today. Appreciation shouldn’t be a memorized two-word sentence.

3.  I am grateful for the roof over my head for I am able to sleep soundly at night. 

It keeps me warm when the rain comes. It keeps me under its shade when the sun is up.

4.  I am grateful for I have all of my senses. 

Even during times when my common sense and sense of humor are nowhere to be found.

5.  I am grateful for the ability to laugh, anytime, anywhere and with anyone.

It only means happiness still keeps me company.

6.  I am grateful for the work on my desk. 

These pending tasks are a reminder that I have a responsibility and that I am trusted.

7.  I am grateful for the love of our pets. 

They never fail to greet me whenever I come home from a long day on the road. They’d always run towards me as I slow down to park the car. They are creatures of God who have nothing but love flowing in their veins.

8.  I am thankful for the privileges I receive. 

I have more than what I need and for that I am truly fortunate.

9.  I am grateful for the little things. 

The fact that it did not rain while I was driving today, that I got home safe, for the quiet time I had while I had my late lunch.

10.  Lastly, I am grateful for the ability to notice these things – great or small. 

Things can get so blurry when you’re busy living.

It feels good to know that you have so much to be thankful for.

Unfinished, Kindness

I wanted to write an entry for the Palanca 2014 but couldn't quite make it. I am this unfinished piece of work and it's a bad and good thing. Bad due to the fact that I can't push myself to finishing this article even though I sorely wanted to. Good because I know that there's still room for me to grow.

This is a snippet of my story. It is raw, unedited, and almost unfiltered. Maybe this piece will find itself inside an envelope and make its way to its original destination. But for now, this tiny space will have to do.

...

Kindness is a word that I try to familiarize myself with. It’s because no matter what happens, I find reasons to be unkind to people; even to those who matter the most to me. And now, I’m writing a laundry list of the things that I’ve done that need to be washed and washed again. It’s a dirty job but I know that I need to do this.

Life has been good for me. I really couldn’t complain. I graduated from a respectable school, I had friends and family who supported me all throughout my studies and now, I’m working as a copywriter for a foreign company. If this isn’t sweet and splendid, then I don’t know what is. I look at all of this as a great kindness shown to me by the many powers that I can’t understand. Maybe it’s God’s hidden hand that move all these things to go towards the direction I’m in or if it’s just destiny that predetermines these rewards.

To be honest, I have a weird way of looking at things. I tend to be a pessimist when it comes to good times. I always have a weird gut feel that after the good times come, something terrible is going to happen and it’s just waiting around the corner to drain the color out of me. It’s true and that’s why I always reserve something before ending the festivities. And when the lights go dim, the drinks have been emptied and the food has been feasted upon, my anxiety towards the supposed bad things that are going to happen just grow bigger than ever. It dawns on me that the good times just pass on and that I have to brace myself for the coming hits. Or maybe it’s just a stupid belief that I have.

Although I said earlier that life has been good, it doesn’t really mean that everything has become smooth sailing. The mere 5 years I spent in college was not really a walk in the park for me. For the first two years, I believed that college was the best thing that has ever happened to me and that the beer and hard liquor won’t stop pouring and that the good things in life will get handed to me right after I get that stupid piece of paper that they call a diploma. It was the greatest lie I tried so hard to believe in. But when reality hit me in the face that I was a jobless, skill-less, wasting third-year college student who had a baby on the way with his also young girlfriend, the game changed. It was no longer a game. And I found it so hard to see kindness in what kind of a card life had dealt me. It was a complete and total change of everything I imagined.

Gone were the future parties, the possible hook-ups and meets with young and foolish people who had nothing but their youth to hold on to. Now, it was all about finishing school, trying to graduate on time or in the shortest time possible, saving up for the hospital bills, moonlighting on our free time and saying sorry to our parents who were clearly disappointed in what had happened. Kindness became an elusive thing for me. I felt that I was given a harsh lesson on life and that what I needed to do was become spiteful and bitter. I was turned black with disappointment in myself and the “good life” I had always known. I felt betrayed in the strongest sense of the word.

And so my journey began. I tried my hardest to reassure my girlfriend that we’re going to get through all of it and smile when we look back at the hard times. It was us against the world. We soldiered through our studies and finished school. Her parents were obviously hard on her. I get it. It was not an easy thing to swallow. Having your youngest daughter stay with you while she was with child was not a thing you let slip so easily. They schooled us every day with their terse remarks and austere affection. It pained me to see my girlfriend go through all of those things because of what we had done. I felt helpless, I felt small. Again, I felt as if the kindness in the world was going the opposite direction we were headed.

Although now that I think about it, the cold treatment they showed us was not an effort to shun us for what had happened. It was done in order to toughen us up. They took us in, helped us learn hands-on when it comes to dealing with things that are now beyond our control. Her parents drove hard bargains and at first we didn’t understand. But that was their way of showing that we are not the sum of our past deeds however disappointing they were. We were weaned on the gritty lessons in their home. I realize now that maybe they thought it best to give us the challenge instead of letting people who don’t really understand a thing about what we were going through judge us for our mess. Now that burden of betrayal I was talking about earlier start to feel light, they are being lifted from our shoulders and thrown into the wind. Maybe if they were showy, they would have given us a tap on the shoulder and a thrift nod. No more, no less. It will mean the world to me to see that happen but nevertheless I am thankful for what they have and have not done for us. I am immensely thankful.

My parents and I are not really close until that fateful event happened. I still remember the phone call I had made to my mom when we confessed to my girlfriend’s parents that we were expecting. Everything’s still fresh in my memory – my trembling voice, the crackling of my sobs and the loving tone of my mother’s voice. There was a long silence before my voice started shaking and the tears began to flow. “Mom, my girlfriend’s pregnant. I don’t know what to do.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.” “Come home. Straight away.” And so I did. The first few steps I took inside the house felt like a distant memory but the hollow feeling is still memorable. The ten steps I needed to get inside the house felt like great strides – laborful and forced. Walking during that moment became a task. And when I saw my mom’s face, I couldn’t help but breakdown and just embrace her for the kindness she showed me. My father was about to go home from a trip abroad. I confessed and he just gave me a tight hug. I told them the whole story and they were with me every day since. They backed me up on every decision, gave nothing but the best counsel and took nothing from me but my qualms and the seething pain. It hurt me because I felt that I had disappointed them but they never were disappointed. They told me that time and time again. It was a kindness that I still aim to repay, one way or another. The burden was starting to lift itself from my shoulders.

There is always this belief that I’ve had when it comes to dealing with the good stuff that comes my way. I see myself as a very fortunate person. I use the term “fortunate” since I really don’t believe in the idea of luck. It’s one of the many weird quirks that I have. And after being a father at 19, I somehow believed that I lived off the kindness of people. I always looked at the nice things that have happened in my life as works of charity and that these people are merely being kind to some unfortunate fellow. I couldn’t complain about that but being a proud person (it’s a trait I’m not personally fond of,) it was definitely hard for me to swallow all of those things. Even the people who knew my story were thought of doing what they have done just out of pity. Although, I do know better to think of them in that manner.

But now I understand that people are kind because that’s the way we are wired. It is innate in every human being, even the despicable ones we so loathe in society or shun in our everyday lives. Kindness just happens although you’d need a conscious effort to keep being kind not only to others but to yourself. It’s one of the greatest gifts that mankind can possess. It can prevent wars, it can mend wounds, and create better and stronger bonds or relationships. What good about it is that it can come from the most unexpected places, people, and deeds.

Going back to my laundry list, I really have a lot of people to give thanks to. But I’ll just start with a few from the top of my head. And my advisors during my last years in college will get this ball rolling. Two of my most trusted and admired professors became my advisors in a lot of things during my years in college. Aside from mentoring me inside the classroom where they both taught communication courses, they managed to take me under their wings when it came to the other lessons I couldn’t learn in the classroom. And not only that, they gave me nothing but the best counsel there is. And maybe that’s partly because they’re both mothers – one being a cool matriarch who always has a menthol cigarette tucked between her teeth and the other being a strong-willed woman who has an eyebrow sharp enough to cut you in ribbons. Both of them are not afraid to let out scathing remarks when it came to talking about personal matters. I even became subject to their little disciplinary sessions. But nevertheless, they are some of the nicest people I know. And I think that’s a bit of an understatement.

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What Good Shall I Do This Day?

It’s the 1970s. A 30-something man makes his way across the Golden Gate Bridge. He’s passed by pedestrians and cyclists, and steps around tourists taking pictures of Alcatraz, Angel Island, and the channel of water below that runs between San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean. He gazes up at the reddish-orange towers soaring above, and then climbs over the bridge’s four-foot safety railing. He steps out onto a 32-inch wide beam known as “the chord,” pauses, takes one last long look out at the bay, and then jumps. His body plummets 220 feet and violently hits the water at 75 mph. The impact breaks his ribs, snaps his vertebrae, and pulverizes his internal organs and brain. The Coast Guard soon arrives to recover his limp, lifeless body.

When the medical examiner later located and searched the jumper’s sparse apartment, he found a note the man had written and left on his bureau. It read:

“I’m going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.”

Original post from The Art of Manliness

10 word story # 12

"We are oil and water. That's all we'll ever be."